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Max Coutinho
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How much experience should women have?
Society, since early ages, imposed on women the burden of virginity. This imposition brought along a heavy psychological and social weight: some virgins would be subjected to their husband's perversions, and find it normal since they had no term of comparison; others would be called frigids by their sexually incompetent husbands, if their performance was poor (Thomas Aquinas was right when he said "I fear a man who reads one book only"). Those who would choose to move forward and offer their virginity prior to marriage (yes, you read correctly; I said "offer" not "lose" for it is not something that you can just lose; and since I don't wish to comment on that vile behaviour which is rape; I think that the proper term would be "to offer") would be invaded by guilt and shame (the church, family, society itself would call them very bad names and tell them that they'd never find a husband; cause after all: "who'd want damaged goods"?). Others would decide to remain virgins and await for their charmed prince...and be repressed...and repressed...and repressed (the result of repression: lunacy).
Nowadays, women are more enlightened: they have watched their mothers and grandmothers - they won't make the same mistake again!
Before plunging into marriage, a woman should (only if she wishes) select 2 or 3 different types of men (N.B: I am not talking about the exact number of men a woman should have - that is entirely up to her, I'm not here to judge others -; I am referring to personality, stance etc) and take mental notes of every little detail of her experience! This way she won't have to fake orgasms, she won't have to submit herself to unwanted perversions, she'll know how her body responds to touch; she'll be able to freely discuss her tastes with her partner (husband, lover, whatever); and be open minded, totally devoided of taboos (being able, this way, to discuss it with and teach her children).
It goes without saying that while doing their research, women should protect themselves ( prophylactically speaking) against STD's & AIDS. Women are still fighting for their right to be sexually liberated (for as long as there's one woman, in the world, who is not free to express herself sexually, the fight is not over), therefore they cannot afford to be labelled as "Disease spreader"; because you know how society responds to this:
Society, since early ages, imposed on women the burden of virginity. This imposition brought along a heavy psychological and social weight: some virgins would be subjected to their husband's perversions, and find it normal since they had no term of comparison; others would be called frigids by their sexually incompetent husbands, if their performance was poor (Thomas Aquinas was right when he said "I fear a man who reads one book only"). Those who would choose to move forward and offer their virginity prior to marriage (yes, you read correctly; I said "offer" not "lose" for it is not something that you can just lose; and since I don't wish to comment on that vile behaviour which is rape; I think that the proper term would be "to offer") would be invaded by guilt and shame (the church, family, society itself would call them very bad names and tell them that they'd never find a husband; cause after all: "who'd want damaged goods"?). Others would decide to remain virgins and await for their charmed prince...and be repressed...and repressed...and repressed (the result of repression: lunacy).
Nowadays, women are more enlightened: they have watched their mothers and grandmothers - they won't make the same mistake again!
Before plunging into marriage, a woman should (only if she wishes) select 2 or 3 different types of men (N.B: I am not talking about the exact number of men a woman should have - that is entirely up to her, I'm not here to judge others -; I am referring to personality, stance etc) and take mental notes of every little detail of her experience! This way she won't have to fake orgasms, she won't have to submit herself to unwanted perversions, she'll know how her body responds to touch; she'll be able to freely discuss her tastes with her partner (husband, lover, whatever); and be open minded, totally devoided of taboos (being able, this way, to discuss it with and teach her children).
It goes without saying that while doing their research, women should protect themselves ( prophylactically speaking) against STD's & AIDS. Women are still fighting for their right to be sexually liberated (for as long as there's one woman, in the world, who is not free to express herself sexually, the fight is not over), therefore they cannot afford to be labelled as "Disease spreader"; because you know how society responds to this:
- A man transmits an STD or AIDS - "Oooopsss! It was a casualty within the quest and pursuit for manhood perfection!"
- A woman transmits an STD or AIDS - "What a slut!"
I'd like to finish with an excerpt of a song, by Jacques de Brel, entitled "La chansons des vieux Amants":
"Bien sûr tu pris quelques amants
Il fallait bien passer les temps
Il faut bien que le corps exulte
Finalement, finalement!"
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I can relate SO MUCH to the label "disease spreader", esp. since I've lived in Indo my whole life (where virginity is still highly regarded). I've always found it UNFAIR that they know when women aren't virgins anymore, whereas who can tell whether the men they get married to are virgins or not? And I also think it's UNFAIR that when women are considered "sluts" whereas if men sleep around, people will say, "Boys will be boys" or something like that. I've always wanted to SCREAM and YELL whenever I hear someone say such a thing (esp. if the person saying it is a WOMAN!!!)
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to being repressed sexually, my PERSONAL view is this: better wait for prince charming (who REALLY cares about you and what you feel and who really wants to please you - because in the end you'll appreciate him more for waiting) and in the meantime just explore yourself so that when you do find the one, you can tell him what you like. The most important part of telling your partner what you like is making him proud of himself, too. Tell him how wonderful he is when he can please you after you tell him how you like to be touched. Win-win situation.
Find someone who can make you feel TOTALLY yourself even when you're being silly and stupid and wacky and someone who you can REALLY talk to comfortably, so that you both can explore each other in bed while having LOTS of fun but with respect to each other's wishes.
The thing is, every male and female body reacts differently. At least that's what I think after hearing some friends' experiences (I'm no expert, so correct me if I'm wrong). What I know more for sure is that there are some things I like that some girls may DISLIKE SO MUCH. So I don't know if having experiences with more partners will help in that department. Even when the woman doesn't know much about her own body, if the man really cares about him, he'll take time to explore and make sure he pleases her, too.
I've always thought that having more than one partner before you settle down is bad in a way because I'm a jealous type. For example: sometimes after making love to my hubby, I ask him, "Have you ever done this with your ex girlfriends?" There's always this lingering thought of, "Am I the best of all? Has someone else ever pleased him more than me?" I just dislike the thought of his thinking of other girls while he's with me. I guess I'm a bit paranoid he he he he...but I don't want any comparison. I just want him for me and I want us to learn the art of making love without any "shadows in the past". That's what I think is best about having no former partners.
But when it comes to knowing which type of guy is best for you, I agree that it's usually better for you to have more than one partners.
Now I want to share something, too. Something I heard from a friend in Bandung. There was a case where the husband wanted to make love, but the wife didn't. You know what he said to her? He said, "That's OK, just lie down and lend me your hole." CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?!?! I just want to smack the guy's face!
Then another guy had a slim, sexy, beautiful wife and he INSISTED that his wife have a C-section (so that her "ehem" would still be intact). However, even after all that, he still went to the brothels. Nice, eh?????
OK I should stop now before I explode he he he...
Hi, Max,
ReplyDeleteI've tagged you with a Thinking Blogger Award. :-D
Check this out:
http://ailema4ever.blogspot.com/2007/06/thinking-blogger-award.html
I generally disagree, but I agree that it's unfair that women are the only one's called sluts. I think both men and women should be punished for their sexual promiscuity/deviance.
ReplyDeleteAlso, thanks for visiting, I'll make sure to visit your blog whenever I can.
Well, maybe we can coin a new word for the philandering male: a slat!
ReplyDeleteAnd why not use a vibrating condom for prevention? I wish they would invent a condom that vibrates and stimulates the female rather than the male: what a stupid idea to make a man come faster! Talk about being gender insensitive! ;-)
Great blog, by the way!!