Things that matter

This post is dedicated to Lady M.

We are born: we are nurtured by our moms, cuddled by them, pampered all the time…from where we stand: life is perfect!
We grow up a bit: we feel life isn’t so perfect anymore…”Mom, can I have that toy?” “No”…get the picture? (In our infantile ignorance we fail to grasp the relevance of having some of our wishes denied).
We become teenagers: “responsibility” is the word of the day, and we start feeling that our parents enslave us (“do this…do that!” “You can’t go out before finishing your task!” etc); we fall in love, we come across rejection, heart-breaks, adjustments, irresolution, uncertainties, insecurity, immaturity, curiosity…hormones affecting our judgment…
We become adults: uncertainty and insecurity may continue to exist (immaturity even, in some cases). However after 25 we start analyzing our existence, making serious decisions about the future and, reviewing our stance in life. Responsibility has a real meaning, and weight, at this point: work, a house, a car, (later) marriage, kids, school…savings, leases, loans, mortgages, IRS, Social Security…you name it!

This happens all over the world: from North to South, from East to West!
But I ask: what are the things that really connect us all? What are the things that lead to the concatenation of our thoughts and concerns?
My answer is:

• Love: this is a sentiment that knows no age, racial, religious nor institutional boundaries.
• Respect: a consideration that is highly appreciated by every culture on earth.
• Compassion: a feeling recognized by everyone. It is a soul-soothing tool.
• Generosity: it should be present in everything we do. For instance, when we criticise someone we should do it with generosity (we should criticise with the intent of teaching something, achieving improvement), when we fight we should be generous (by understanding the reason why we’re fighting, and at the same time by respecting the opponent).
• Sympathy: a quality that draws people together. When sympathy is natural in a person (cause there are those who fake it, with a certain purpose) life seems to be generous towards that being.
• Family: our first school. A family is a small reflection of society, for it shows us all the tools we’ll use to cope with life – denial, disappointment, rejection, frustration, fights, conquest, competition, union, happiness…violation of democracy (and in some families: invasion of privacy).
• Friendship: more precious than gold, yet more rare than diamonds. We all have at least one good friend in life (and I am talking about friendship extra-family) that we must cherish with all our power. As Saint-Exupery said in “Little Prince”: “we are responsible for those we captivate”.
• Frustration: not pleasant. However it is our cement. Once we learn how to manage it, it becomes a very important shield against adversities.

We are so caught up in our personal issues, ambitions, doubts, questions, fruitless actions and conversations that we seem to overlook the things that really matter: love, respect, compassion, generosity, sympathy, friendship and family.