Possible Things to Say...

It can't be easy being a parent.
Before I commence, I'd like to pay my respects to all parents in the world: God bless you!

I have always found it so cute when kids start saying what they want to be when they grow up (of course half of them end up by being something completely diverse of what they had initially planned): ballerina, fireman, police officer, doctor, singer etc.
And parents always bear proud and shiny faces.
However I wonder which look their countenance would bear, and what reaction they’d have, if their kids would convey their wish to be an undertaker, for example...
But there is worse...

Please allow me to share 4 unusual professional paths that kids could dream of pursuing; and the possible things their parents could tell them.

I. “Mom, dad; I want to be a whore.”
Possible reaction: oh sure, darling; if that is your dream job. Of course the family will support your decision...when you’re 60. Until then go to school, finish your education; get a decent job; try being a good human being, a parent, a good neighbour; then when you’re 60...if you are still willing to be a sex-trader, we might help you open a brothel...over your father’s dead body.

II. “Dad, mom; I’d like to be a drug dealer.”
Possible reaction: you are so not watching “Weeds” ever again in your life. Do you think it is easy to be a drug dealer? First you’ll need to find a chemistry graduate, who is either a loser or a natural born criminal, in order to process the drugs; then you’ll need to find a couple of loser girlfriends to bag the s***; then you will need 3 or 4 losers to distribute the product; then you’ll have to organise an army of junior-mafia to protect you and your business; and finally you will have to pass math and chemistry first, then go to college (to take a Business administration degree), read the “Art of War” by Sun Tzu, join a gang and lose all the respect for human life...this, if you wish to prosper, since you have no gangster background.

III. “Mom, dad; I wish to be a model.”
Possible reaction: but of course! I don’t even know how I didn’t think of exploiting you before. I must be such a terrible parent because I should have encouraged you not to eat; to take slimming pills; to read fashion magazines all day long; I should have submitted your 14-year old to superfluous plastic surgeries; thrown you into the arms of fat, sweaty, disgusting, statutory rapists and manipulative agents; subjected you to the women-haters in the fashion world that will tell you that you are fat even if you’re skin and bone; and dreamed to applaud your drunk-like-nearly-fainting-due to-malnourishment performance on the catwalk. Sure, go ahead.

IV. “Dad, mom, I want to be a Chippendales dancer.”
Possible reaction: why would you, as a man, want to wear a thong in the first place? They are not even made of cotton. If your dream is to have a bunch of women touching you and placing money in your G-string....sure, why not...kill your mother of embarrassment. To tell you the truth, I am quite surprised at these news; given the fact that you don’t even like to exercise yourself, and you are bulging. Women will not pay to see you shake your jelly, they will call you fat and that “More to love, baby” line won’t work...this is not “The Simpsons”. I’ll pray for you.

It is not easy to be a parent. They endure a lot of stuff from their kids (and teens have the nerve to think that they are the victims here)...sometimes I think that parenthood is karma burning from all the things we put our mother and father through.

Anyway, what do you think your reaction would be if your kid, grandchild, nephew or even cousin would tell you it would want to pursue one of these odd dream-careers?

Image: St. Catherine by Caravaggio