Politics 101: How To...

Planet Earth (From Space Nasa)

How to distract the electorate

When a government is solving a grave problem (or trying to prevent an explosive information from being exposed), all it has to do is to entertain the electorate with silly issues. The government must create a diversion tactic like a rift between the PM and one of his ministers; bring up controversial debates that will lead nowhere like adoption/co-adoption by Gays (for the Portuguese audience mainly); throw the rumour about Gender Theory in primary schools; expose the president's "complicated" private life, in order to camouflage his utter incompetence (French audience); or draft a bill the government knows it will never pass in the national assembly just to divert the people's attention from what is really going on.

How to inform people about Regime Change

The government is always the first to realise when the situation is about to change. So when the electorate is informed that those who run the country have funds stashed in the Virgin Islands, it should reach the conclusion that the regime is gradually collapsing and the politicians are safeguarding their future comfort.

How to mask a political agenda

You set up a NGO to feed the hungry, to help refugees here and there, to clothe those in need, to bring water to the thirsty, light to the blind etc; then after you make a proof of intent, you start receiving money from certain governments who will dictate your agenda. You are not supposed to be political however if you want to keep receiving the money, you will become so.

With these funds you help people but you also take advantage to make a name for the organisation; then you will need celebrities to become ambassadors (they think they are in it to raise funds when in fact they are there to bestow upon you credibility and validation), however when those ambassadors do not support the BDS movement...invite them to leave immediately. And one more detail: to make sure you stay in business, contribute to the ongoing social problems - for that you need to make important alliances with some dodgy people in the business world and deepen them with the governments that feed you.

Non-governmental organisation: to be fundamentally governmental or not to be, that is the question.

How to do old school politics

You basically try to please Greeks and Trojans. As a politician, when seeking to be elected, you will promise people the whole world. You will promise change and a new era; you will promise to lower taxes, you will promise them that their problems will be addressed, you will promise them the moon. However, once you get what you want...forget the people.

If you are a good natured politician, with romantic views and proper values, know that you will sit in office and be briefed on what needs to be corrected about national policy; then once you voice your opinion, the establishment will look at you saying "Think again and re-phrase that." because there are certain mechanisms in place that are inconvenient to touch: Desert Money (which involves a lot of lobbying - another industry that is inconvenient to touch, be it legal or not); oil, gas, mineral and mining exploration businesses in countries that violate your principles and democratic values etc etc...so, swallow your pride and allow business as usual.

How to do new school politics

You welcome both Greeks and Trojans; however, you weigh the long term economic and national security benefits and costs of dealing with one and the other. If the Greeks are closer to you in terms of democratic principles and values, if they yield you competitive edge of your high-tech industries, intelligence and enhanced military capability then you know you need to support them. If the Trojans are far from you in terms of democratic principles and values; if, despite the trade between your countries, they inject money in your territory to mass convert people to their own belief system and to support attacks against national targets and interests...you need to keep them close yet send the right messages.

The politician of the new era is more brazen and less hypocritical, while maintaining convenient relationships with everyone in the Political Colosseum - including the little-yet-strategic ones and apparently little.

Politics is not an easy game. However, this is the 21st century and it is unacceptable that politicians still hold on to the old way of doing things...especially when the electorate is changing at a rapid pace.