Preview of the Meeting between President Trump and Portugal's President

By Lenny Hannah

I foresee that the meeting between POTUS and the Portuguese President will be very interesting because for the first time we will have a right-wing President, with no strings attached and without subtleties, and a European President who claims to be a right-winger, but who in fact is a RINO (Right-winger in Name Only) and a fervent supporter of pragmatism.

Photo-op with the International Media

Press: President Trump, is the tariff subject on the table?
President Trump: He just got here.

The Meeting

Besides the usual conversation about how the Portuguese migrants, in the US, are a great contribution for the development of America, that they are a hard-working community and don’t cause troubles etc; I tried to imagine what else our President would talk over with his American counterpart:

• The Lajes Base – Portugal demands more money, otherwise pack your bags and leave because the Angolans (as members of the PALOPS and CPLP blocs) already offered themselves to rent the base to conduct exercises with Angola’s most valuable investors (Hezbollah, Iran and Syrians) with the assistance of their Chinese friends.
• Ad-hoc conversation on the tariff on steel and aluminium – the European Union bosses (i.e. the Germans) asked me to beseech you to retract from your decision to stab the EU countries on the back because of the whole steel and aluminium matter.
• La quéstion Jérusalem et le déplacement de l’embassade – we, at the EU, do not agree with your unilateral decision to move the American embassy to Jerusalem, a city that naturally must be divided in three areas (the East side is to belong to the Arabs, and the West side is to belong to Jews, Christians in general and to the Catholic sector). Well, I gave my assurance to the Arabs in Egypt that Portugal would never, ever, move her embassy to Jerusalem, because it has never been Israel’s capital anyway. I don’t understand why the Jews want to provoke an unnecessary war because of a city that is under Jordanian control; it doesn’t make any sense – the Jews were kicked out of the so-called Israel, and as we say in Portugal “you snooze you lose”. My goodness, aren’t these people well integrated in our societies? What else do they want? What a nuisance!

POTUS may answer by questioning the Portuguese President about the following items:

• Jerusalem: you, sir, profess the Christian faith, don’t you? And you are telling you don’t know your Bible? The Holy Book is not a story book; it is a legal treaty with laws, rules and statutes designed for the Jewish People. I fully believe in it; therefore, the Jerusalem question is not debatable to me: case closed.
• Tell me more about your citizen Manuel Vicente: a corrupt individual who used to be Sonangol’s CEO and Angola’s VP. A Luso-Angolan who not only forgot his Portuguese nationality the minute he saw himself in troubles with the Portuguese Justice system (due to his illicit activities) but also, for some strange reason, demanded the Angolan heads of state to urge Portugal to hand over his case to the Angolan Justice (evoking some past agreement signed between your two countries) – my advisers tell me that the crimes were committed on Portuguese soil by an individual who happens to hold Portuguese nationality. What kind of business are you running there after all, sir?
• The BES case: please, explain me the connections between the former CEO of that bank with the corrupt elites of Angola – and by the way, where is that money anyway…billions of dollars?
• Your country is suspected of doing all sorts of trafficking (goods and people), money laundering, smuggling people in (to be sold all over the world), dirty money that – I’m told – is hidden in the trunks of vehicles parked in buildings owned by Angolan citizens.
• Portuguese Justice: I was also informed that this department of yours is infiltrated by Luso-Angolan civil servants, whose loyalty lies with Angola that, in turn, sells the received information to the subversive forces that operate there.
• Ana Lourenço: I wonder what could you possibly have to discuss with the Angolan First Lady in private? You did host her in Belém Palace earlier this year, did you not?
• Could you explain your past frequent flights to Luanda?

The meeting ends. POTUS and the Portuguese President meet the Press on the White House Lawn:


Press: Mr President, did you solve the tariff’s problem?
President Trump: he’s a great guy, excellent and brilliant mind. Thank you…(handshake between the two statesmen).

Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa leans over Donald Trump and whispers “You have quite a pickle in your hands with this problem of the immigrant children, eh?” the American President replies “First, no one can force his way into someone else’s home uninvited; then I don’t take lessons from a leader that has, in his country, people who worked for over 40 years only to live on a miserable pension below €300. You solve your problem and I'll solve mine.”

Press: Mr President, Mr President....!
President Trump: he's a great, great guy!

See you next time

This article was originally posted, in Portuguese, on Etnias: O Bisturi da Sociedade

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